This is something I've discussed a lot with my friend and fellow scholar Christine Bylund. She's an ethnologist, I'm a philosopher. She's got cerebral palsy, and I'm mad. But we have some common experiences of having pushed ourselves hard to get where we are now, while other people blame us for doing so (yeah, yeah, you don't want to call this blame - but I don't care what you wanna call it. I say "blame" anyway). Other people will blame you for supposedly internalizing destructive societal norms about the importance of hard work and grit. Other people will tell you that you ought to let go of these norms, and get better at self-care. This is because other people erroneously believe that this is always possible to do without serious negative consequences.
1. Deterioration of the welfare state
Many western European countries that used to have strong welfare states and where strong job security used to be the norm have changed drastically over the last decades. Sweden is one of those.
Bylund's doctoral dissertation features interviews with three generations of disabled people; the oldies who grew up in institutions, the middle-aged ones who grew up in a time where they had rights and real possibilities to live normal lives, and the young ones who have seen their rights seriously eroded - not so much on paper as in practice.
Laws aren't magic. If an entire system and most of the people who work there habitually ignore legal rights and entitlements because cutting costs is considered more important, there may be nothing that the system's victims can do about it. Sometimes, initially dismissed disabled people eventually get what they're entitled to through lots of stubbornness, information gathering, and legal council. Still, at the end of the day, you're always at the mercy of the people in charge; unless they listen, you can't force money, accommodations or assistance out of them.
Nowadays, if you don't have a job, you might not have any money at all. You might lose all of your income, and lose your home. You might lose everything - especially if you're chronically ill or disabled.
Perhaps people close to you have a little money with which they try to help as best they can. Perhaps you can survive by the good graces of your parents or romantic partner. But as any feminist from the last few centuries can tell you, being wholly financially dependent on another is not without problems, even if their money is enough for both of you.
There's this well-known phenomenon where people think, of various calamities, that it won't happen to them. No particular reason, they're just irrationally certain that they will remain lucky. In a similar vein, many people apparently believe that no serious calamities can possibly befall people they know, who are perceived as being sufficiently similar to them. Therefore, many normate scholars believe that chronically ill or disabled scholars whom they know and have lots in common with, cannot possibly lose everything. Subsequently, they can't grasp why those disabled people keep struggling and pushing themselves instead of doing proper self-care.
Well. Everyone who ever lost everything had people who knew them; people who thought that nothing this bad could possibly happen to someone they know. Didn't save them.
2. In my best interest
Before I got my current job, I spent years in a downward spiral of deteriorating mental health which I (eventually in vain) tried to compensate for by taking more and more pills, as I moved from one fixed-term job to another. This wasn't because I thought going on sick leave would be shameful because of internalized job norms and blablabla. In the late nineties, I was on sick leave for six months at one point. I've been on sick leave for a month or two later than that. But nowadays, going on sick leave for mental problems is risky. Försäkringskassan (the public health insurance agency) may hound you - you should get back to work soon! You've been on sick leave long enough now! Time to recover already! Time to get back! - so much that the stress makes you sicker. And what happens if you go on sick leave and only get sicker and sicker? Eventually, they might simply kick you out of the system. If you're in terrible shape and absolutely can't work at this point, well, too bad - you've lost everything (see above).
However, thanks to how I continued to push myself, combined with some much-needed good luck (we always need luck too, it's never all about your own effort), I finally landed my current job. I finally got job security, financial security, a generally idyllic and far less stressful life. I could finally begin to recover.
It sucks balls - big, stinking donkey balls - that society looks like this. But given the way things are, I did what was in my best interests. Don't blame me for pushing myself "too hard" - blame society.
3. In capitalism's best interests?
Occasionally, I come across the following idea: By dropping out of school or the workforce, we somehow hurt capitalism (I should add that it's people who see hurting capitalism as a worthy goal who claim this, not liberals and conservatives who worry that capitalism might get hurt). If this were right, there would exist a tension between on the one hand looking after your own interests and push yourself so you don't lose your income and home, and on the other hand fighting capitalism by dropping out.
This is wrong. Single individuals can't hurt the system by dropping out of job/school.
When most or all workers in a company strikes, the company is hurt. If most or all Swedish citizens went on strike at the same time, the nation would be hurt. Whether this is a good idea for a revolution really depends on how the entire plan would look and what is supposed to come after, but there's no doubt that it would have drastic effects. But single individuals can't hurt capitalism as a system by dropping out - and I'm not saying this merely because everything a single person does (unless that person holds a powerful position) has negligible effects.
People have argued that it's pointless to go vegan, or pointless to go by train instead of plane, since the consequences of a single person's choices are negligible. However, some people who make that argument go on to say that we should, instead, focus on voting for political parties with good environmental policies (animal welfare policies, etc.) and support the right organizations. But the consequences of individual votes and individual memberships are negligible too. For my own part, I'm of a more Kantian than consequentialist bend, so I don't fret over negligible consequences; there are also consequentialists who try to show that the right kind of "moral mathematics" support the importance of individual choices after all.
In any case, going vegan, taking the train, voting for decent political parties, etc., are all importantly different from dropping out of school/job. Whereas, for instance, going vegan means that the meat industry gets a little less money than if I had continued to buy meat, capitalism as a whole isn't even a little hurt when I drop out. The meat industry doesn't need vegans, but capitalism needs the poor, desperate and unemployed.
First, demand for workers isn't constant, it varies over time. Employers prefer a scenario in which there are unemployed, poor, and desperate people they can hire straight away when they suddenly need more workers, to a scenario in which they must outbid the competition to increase their staff.
Second, it's advantegous for employers that people who already have a job are afraid to lose it - scared workers will work harder and complain less. In addition to their function as "spares", unemployed, poor, and desperate people also serve as cautionary tales: Look! This is what happens to people who claim they're too sick to work. Watch and learn. Watch, and struggle for another day.
If you work or study, sure, you're a cog in the larger capitalist machine. But if you drop out, you're still a useful cog.
To sum up: Stop blaming disabled people for allegedly pushing themselves too hard. Blame society. Or better still; get politically active yourself and try to change things.
